Decorating our tree | Christmas 2014.

oh yeah, one major thing.

we live in New York City now!

most of you who read my blog, know me or follow me on facebook/instagram so you already know this fact. but all those who don't, then surprise!

my husband Tanner interned with a little company called Facebook (yes, that facebook) two summers ago in the heart of Silicon Valley. we loved Northern California. well, Tanner loved it and I loved it as much as a very sickly pregnant lady could. the goal for this internship was to get a job offer at the end of it, and since Tanner was killing it there in FB land, we were coming to the realization that come May we would be moving back out there to live as true grown ups. well, the job offer came along with the best surprise of my little life, that the job would be at Facebook's business headquarters in New York City.

to live in New York City has always, and I mean always been on my bucket list. it was such an exciting time just dreaming about the fact that come summer we would be new yorkers.

but we forgot one little stressful part about moving to any city or place, that is finding a home.

so around the end of may, we left this little one behind for the very first time (cue mama tears), and headed out to the city just husband and me to find an apartment.

it was stressful. scary. exhilarating. exciting. and restful (nights without baby = sleep, such a beautiful thing).

after looking at a handful of apartments that scared us silly. our broker had walked by this perfect place and poked his head in to see if they had any apartments available, and luckily they did. when we opened the door we knew it was the one. romantic, huh. but really after seeing what we saw prior to this apartment, your heart would've skipped a beat too. it was perfect. yes it was smaller than we said we wanted but it was bright, clean, safe, had an elevator and laundry (yes those are rare here in the city), and had a doorman who would come to know us by name. the dream really.

i still remember sitting here with the husband in Washington Square Park, talking it over and making the decision to go with this apartment. and realizing our dreams were about to become a reality. i will always love this photo i took that night. because it represents all of that excitement for me, and that arch... i mean, come on.

so here we are. bright eyed (and one of us quite bushy...) and soon to be true new yorkers.

the next time we would be here, would be as a family. to stay.

letters to henry: 4 months old.

5.1.2014

my little henry, 

Your Mom is a slacker/been way too busy/having way too much fun with you/ok a slacker. Here I am 4 months late, writing your 4 months old letter. And that's how it's going to be while I try to catch up with the last 4 months of your life. But better late than never, right? 

4 months was such a fun stage with you. You were just starting to smile all the time. The real kind of smiles, along with the gassy ones. You were also still so tiny. Which is something I miss now that you are growing so fast and out of that newborn baby phase. You were starting to show that irresistible, adorable, and funny little personality you now have full force. You even started giving me kisses which was and is my favorite (never forget that). I feel like this was the time we were really starting to know each other. You loved observing me and watching me everywhere I went, and we started to have some pretty great conversations-- you were a fantastic listener. And I was finally beginning to understand you and what you love and what you don't, and everything in between. You loved watching West Wing with me when mama needed a little break. After that, I was pretty convinced you'd be president one day. Still am.

4 months was a really great month for you and for us. Daddy was graduated and was able to spend lots and lots of time with you. Which we both loved. And we lived with your Grandma and Grandpa which you loved most of all. There is nothing you love more than getting attention from your family. We went to California to visit your Grandma and Grandpa Rhodes where again, you got lots of attention from your aunts and uncle and even your little Hunter cousins, who absolutely adored you. You went to Disneyland for the first time. You went swimming for the first time. You finally found your toes. And you rolled over for the very first time!


So yes, 4 months was a really good month but guess what, it keeps getting better and better.

Love always,

your mama

*other letters to henry found here

henry's blessing day.

April 6, 2014 was such a perfect day. This beautiful baby boy of mine was given a blessing by his daddy surrounded by our closest family. Yes, Henry was one of those babies that cried through the whole blessing, and maybe a cell phone started ringing in the middle of it too, but it was perfect. During a time of unrest for some in our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, about women and the priesthood, on that weekend in April especially during our church's semi-annual General Conference, my testimony of the priesthood power and the divine role of women & motherhood within the priesthood grew and was strengthened significantly. How could it not. My darling husband who has lived a life worthy of holding such a power all his life, held this little baby of ours in his arms, a baby that I was blessed to carry for 9 months, and have an immeasurable bond with that is unlike anything I have ever experienced and that only me and my Henry share, I knew I was a part of this blessing just as much as my husband was. Even outside of the context of this special day, I am blessed to feel this way in every instance my husband exercise's his priesthood power. We are one, and on Henry's blessing day it was amazing to feel not only one with my husband but also with this new member of our family. And I know my family and all my many many future babies ;) will feel the same. Okay, now back to Henry's blessing day! Of course it was a day to not only take about a million pictures of Henry in his perfect blessing outfit (I know...I just can't help it) but we were also able to get some lovely pictures of him with our families. My heart was so full that day, and it's even more so now as I look at these pictures below, and realize just how special it was to have all these people who love Henry there supporting him and loving him. Family is just so special. 

everyone! (and a grumpy henry)

the men who were in the circle with Tanner

 us with my lovely parents, henry's grandma & grandpa

henry and my beautiful grandma, his great-grandma wiley & our little family

a sleeping henry and his grandma rhodes and great-grandma wirig

the sweetest pictures of my pretty mama with henry & my dad with henry boy

 daddy and henry & mama and henry

this picture was taken after we took henry out of his blessing clothes and put him in something a little more comfy, this will forever be one of my favorite photos... henry and his sweet grandpa, my dad. you can just tell they adore each other. 

and there it is. your blessing day was something I couldn't help but imagine time and time again before you were born, and it's already come and gone. all I can say, is my heart is so full. 

letters to henry: 3 months old.

4.1.14

my little henry,

Sometimes on nights like this where I take you up to bed to nurse you asleep, just you and me, and I can't help but think back to 3 months ago when you were born and how all I wanted to do was hold you like I'm holding you now. With you in the NICU and myself, in the hospital for a short time after that, it felt like that "normal" life that I always wanted with you would never come. But look, here we are, you and me together, finally nothing is holding us back and I realize just how blessed and lucky I am to be your mother. And to hold you. And to kiss your sweet little cheeks and nose. And to watch your eyes flutter as you dream your sweet dreams. I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to witness you growing and playing, making sounds and smiling that big gummy smile of yours and to watch your eyes light up each time you see your daddy or me. I love being able to nurse you and share that bond with you, even though it hasn't been easy, I cherish that time I have with you where you really need me. You will never need me more than you do right now, and I'm truly trying to appreciate and soak in each and every moment. Not to mention that look you give me when we lay down and snuggle in bed as I nurse you, is a look that is forever engrained in my mind. Those big blue eyes, which I am so proud to say you got from me. And the way those eyes, look into mine, the way only a mother and baby can share, and then you stop what you are doing and give me your purest smile, which always leads into you trying your hardest to talk and express your happiness to me in the only words and sounds you know, such as your beloved "ah goo" or "ah gaa". And then you pause, just to make sure I heard and understood you, before you start again. I'd like to think I know exactly what your saying. We get each other, you and I. We may have only been together for 3 months but I believe that we've known each other far longer than that. I have no doubt in my mind that you were meant to be mine, just as I was meant to be yours. You are my sweet boy, and always will be.

Love always, your mama.

*letters to henry 2 months & 1 month & 2 weeks