letters to henry: 3 months old.

4.1.14

my little henry,

Sometimes on nights like this where I take you up to bed to nurse you asleep, just you and me, and I can't help but think back to 3 months ago when you were born and how all I wanted to do was hold you like I'm holding you now. With you in the NICU and myself, in the hospital for a short time after that, it felt like that "normal" life that I always wanted with you would never come. But look, here we are, you and me together, finally nothing is holding us back and I realize just how blessed and lucky I am to be your mother. And to hold you. And to kiss your sweet little cheeks and nose. And to watch your eyes flutter as you dream your sweet dreams. I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to witness you growing and playing, making sounds and smiling that big gummy smile of yours and to watch your eyes light up each time you see your daddy or me. I love being able to nurse you and share that bond with you, even though it hasn't been easy, I cherish that time I have with you where you really need me. You will never need me more than you do right now, and I'm truly trying to appreciate and soak in each and every moment. Not to mention that look you give me when we lay down and snuggle in bed as I nurse you, is a look that is forever engrained in my mind. Those big blue eyes, which I am so proud to say you got from me. And the way those eyes, look into mine, the way only a mother and baby can share, and then you stop what you are doing and give me your purest smile, which always leads into you trying your hardest to talk and express your happiness to me in the only words and sounds you know, such as your beloved "ah goo" or "ah gaa". And then you pause, just to make sure I heard and understood you, before you start again. I'd like to think I know exactly what your saying. We get each other, you and I. We may have only been together for 3 months but I believe that we've known each other far longer than that. I have no doubt in my mind that you were meant to be mine, just as I was meant to be yours. You are my sweet boy, and always will be.

Love always, your mama.

*letters to henry 2 months & 1 month & 2 weeks